baby arctic fox tries to eat a man alive
When you’re so angry your leg grows back.
So… We went to the zombie pub crawl in Northampton tonight and this girl was sitting on this yellow pole outside doing weird ass stripperesque moves, and she fell backwards ass over head and hit a car and then right onto the pavement with her head tucked under her and feet up over her head omfg it was so fucked up and she just got right back up on her feet and was like laughing it off even though she’d already formed a massive bump growing out of her head. What the actual fuck hahaha
The young fisherman grunted from excursion, having just reached her destination. It was a bit of a hike, yes, but it was well worth it for such a beautiful, quiet spot to spend the better part of her morning. After all, the fish were always biting, and she felt it were her obligation to catch her family’s dinner, even if she would not eat it herself.
Resting upon the rocks, she pulled out her brand new rod and carefully applied the bait to the end, saying a silent prayer that she’d catch something particularly impressive.
Several moments went by without a single bite, but just as the tiny fisherwoman was cursing her luck, a steady stream of bubbles appeared just below where she was seated. Intrigued, she leaned closer, only to see a small fish pop out of water.
"Glub glub," it spoke, not yet used to human, as it spent most of it’s time avoiding the drunken fishermen. This little, tiny human, though, she could not resist.
"Well, aren’t you a beautiful little fishy," the human cooed, leaning in for a closer look. This fish was unlike any she’d seen before, with rainbow gills that shimmered in the sun. Her rod abandoned, she shimmied as close to the water as she could get, enchanted by this rare fish.
"Hungry," the fish spoke sadly. "Allergic to your bait."
"Oh! I have more!" The young woman exclaimed, pulling out her bag of goodies.
"Glub," the fish spoke sadly. For she was allergic to it all. Hadn’t eaten in days, due to the fact that she was quickly learning all likely prey led to a major fishy belly ache.
"Poor fishy," the fisherwoman cooed, scooping up some water in her extra large McDonald’s cup. "Come home with me. I’ll find you something good to eat."
The fish’s eyes brightened immediately. A new friend? Food? Not dying hungry and alone in this big, open body of water? It sounded most promising!
"Glub!" She yelled, swimming for the cup. The tiny woman giggled, swirling her finger around in the cup, the rare fish rubbing up against her with affection.
Ahh yes, the fish thought, glubbing happily. I have found my mate.
I’m in South Hadley